Bee-Atitudes

Last time we talked about retributive justice versus restorative justice and how the former doesn't really solve anything at all. It doesn't make you feel any better if you're the one doing it and it certainly doesn't alleviate any feelings on victim's part. So, let's talk about something first, before we go anywhere else.

If you do something to hurt someone, that makes them the victim.

Then there arises someone looking out for vengeance to do something back to you.

That makes you the victim.

Then someone else gets up and does the same thing back to them.

That makes them the victim.

Rinse, repeat as many times as you please as you are trapped in an endless cycle of victim, victimizer relationship. Now what if I told you there was a way to break free.

What about do unto others as you would have them do unto you?

No, not that one. See, that's just the whole problem already, wasn't it?

Let's say I don't want you to hug me for example. So, I live my whole life by never hugging anyone ever again. Because I never hug anyone, I expect them all to know that I don't wish to be hugged, at all for any reason. But they don't know what do they? Some people that love and miss me still try to hug me from time to time. I get upset and tell them all to stop hugging me. Now they are offended with me. 'But we love you,' they say, 'why can we not hug you?' What I tell them every time is please respect the golden rule. They might get tired of being treated like that and one day go someplace else. But then I'd miss them. That sounds silly right? Now let's say, one day I find myself in a fit of missing them all so much. So, I go to where they are and launch in for a nice big hug only to find myself rebuffed. I thought they all wanted hugs so that's what I gave to them at last. Yet they were still hurt from the other times I refused to hug them and now what misery could have been avoided if we just gave each other hugs. See, when you talk about society, it's awful hard to have a discussion without first learning how everyone is supposed to relate to each other.